Talk Therapy Does Not Work

Talk, Talk, Talk, does not get you anywhere.   You have to do, do, do in order to get yourself to a better place.  Simply complaining about your problems to a friend or therapist is a waste of your time and money - except for the therapist.   They make money off your whining while you don't actually get anywhere with solving your problem.  If the therapist gives you actionable steps to help you get you out of your mess, then it's useful.  But doing that would lose them a client and money.   Because if you actually solved your problems on your own, you would not need a therapist anymore.

This is why talk therapy is a lot of wasted time and money for patients.  The best solution is to become your own therapist by doing the following:  

1.  Writing down your feelings and problems.  

2.  Come up with actionable steps to improve your situation.  Explore all your options and write them down.

3.  Take action on one or more of those solutions.   Figure out where you can go and how to solve the problem.  

4.  Evaluate your results.  

Often times having a conversation with the person causing you stress can go a long way in resolving tension and problems.  If they are receptive to your concerns and actually care about how you feel, they will work with you to come up with a win-win solution that will make you both happy.   If they don't care about you, then you may have to leave the relationship to preserve your mental and emotional well-being.

Remember this:  Caring and considerate people want to relieve your stress and unhappiness, not cause more.  Toxic and narcissistic people add to your stress and deliberately try to make you miserable.  If you go by these rules, you will know what kind of person you are dealing with, how to take care of yourself, and how to solve your own problems.

Now if you are a saint, you will know how to play the game in dealing with toxic people.  You won't take their non-sense personally because you know they are sick in the head, unaware of themselves, don't care if they hurt people, and generally miserable people that cannot be helped. 

The most important thing is that you do everything you can do guard your sanity. 

***Fill out the worksheets in the Psych Bible E-Journal to help you decide how to deal with these kinds of toxic people.